7 Signs You’re NOT Failing as a Parent (But You May Be Missing This)

Do you end the day replaying everything you “did wrong” as a parent?
That one moment you lost your patience. The thing you said with a sharp tone. The argument that ended in silence and guilt.

You're not alone—and you're not failing.

In fact, many of the things that make you feel like you're falling short are actually signs you're showing up in meaningful, powerful ways. But because your brain is trained to look for what’s going wrong, it’s easy to overlook what’s already going right.

In this article—based on Episode 255 of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam with counselor and author Erin Morrison—we’ll unpack 7 signs you’re doing better than you think… and small shifts that will help you start seeing yourself (and your teen) through a new, more empowering lens.

1. You Constantly Worry About Being a “Good” Parent

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
That self-doubt is a sign of deep care and commitment. You want to get this right—not just for your teen, but for your relationship with them long term. Parents who worry are parents who are actively reflecting, learning, and growing. And that awareness is a core ingredient of emotionally intelligent parenting. It means you’re paying attention.

What you may be missing:
Your mind is wired to notice threats and flaws—so it’s quick to spot what went wrong and slow to register what’s going well. This means you might completely overlook the subtle but powerful things you are doing right each day, like keeping your cool in a heated moment or following up after an argument with compassion.

What to do:
Start a nightly reflection practice. Write down one thing you did well as a parent that day. Even something small. Maybe you listened without judgment. Maybe you stayed calm when your teen was rude. Noticing your efforts shifts your focus from inadequacy to growth—and builds confidence over time.

2. You’re Exhausted from Managing Everyone’s Emotions

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
Emotional labor is invisible, but you’re doing it constantly—absorbing your teen’s mood, calming the household, managing tension, keeping the peace. That kind of emotional engagement shows how deeply you care. You're not disengaged. You're in it.

What you may be missing:
You may be so focused on your family’s emotional well-being that you’ve stopped checking in with your own. When your teen is struggling, you feel it. When your partner is stressed, you carry it. But the truth is, you can’t regulate everyone else if you’re neglecting your own emotional regulation. Exhaustion isn’t just physical—it’s emotional depletion.

What to do:
When a conflict arises, pause and ask yourself: “Am I reacting to my own emotions right now, or theirs?” This helps you identify whether you’re projecting your own fears or truly responding to what your teen needs. Name your feeling first. That act alone creates space for a calmer, more grounded response.

3. You Beat Yourself Up Over Every Parenting Mistake

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
Regret often shows up in parents who care deeply about how their actions affect their child. That inner critic telling you, “You should’ve handled that better”? It’s actually a reflection of your values. You want to repair, to grow, to love well—and that desire is a strength, not a flaw.

What you may be missing:
Many parents believe that guilt is necessary for growth. But research shows the opposite. Self-compassion—not shame—is what fuels change. Constantly beating yourself up doesn’t make you a better parent. It makes you more reactive, defensive, and exhausted. What your teen needs most isn’t your perfection—it’s your ability to repair and reconnect after rupture.

What to do:
Use the “friend filter.” If your closest friend told you the same parenting story you’re telling yourself, what would you say? Likely something kind and encouraging. Practice saying that to yourself. Then, if needed, circle back with your teen and say: “I didn’t handle that how I wanted to. I’m sorry. Let’s try again.” That’s powerful modeling.

4. Your Teen Pushes Back, Argues, or Shuts Down

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
As painful as it feels in the moment, this behavior often means your teen feels emotionally safe enough to express themselves honestly. They’re not bottling it all up. They’re testing limits, questioning authority, forming opinions—all signs of normal development. This kind of pushback isn’t rejection. It’s growth.

What you may be missing:
It’s easy to misinterpret boundary-testing or emotional outbursts as personal attacks. But your teen’s brain is still under construction, especially in areas related to impulse control, empathy, and self-regulation. What looks like disrespect is often dysregulation. And what sounds like defiance may be an attempt to assert identity.

What to do:
Repeat this phrase to yourself: “It’s not personal. It’s developmental.” Post it somewhere visible. Let it anchor you when your teen rolls their eyes, storms off, or slams a door. You can still hold boundaries—but with less hurt and more perspective.

5. You Always Feel Like the “Bad Guy”—and You Resent It

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
If you’re the one enforcing rules, setting limits, and saying “no” when it’s unpopular, that means you’re showing up for your teen in the hard moments. You’re creating structure, which helps them feel safe—even if they don’t say it.

What you may be missing:
In trying so hard to manage behavior, you've slipped into the role of “enforcer” and lost your role as the emotionally available, lighthearted parent. When everything feels like a lesson or a rule, teens start to pull away—not because you’re doing it wrong, but because there’s no space left for connection.

What to do:
Set aside 10 minutes to reconnect—with no agenda. Watch a silly show together. Grab a snack. Let them play DJ in the car. The goal isn’t to fix or teach—it’s to remind them (and yourself) that this relationship is more than just responsibilities. It’s love, laughter, and shared moments.

6. You Feel Guilty Taking Time for Yourself

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
That guilt likely means you’ve spent years putting others first. You’re so used to giving that receiving—or even resting—feels selfish. But guilt doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means you’ve forgotten that your well-being matters too.

What you may be missing:
Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a red flag. And your teen learns how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself. If you never rest, never play, and never model joy, they may grow up believing that self-neglect is the norm.

What to do:
Start with three minutes. A quiet breath before everyone wakes up. A short journal entry after drop-off. A song that lifts your mood. Erin Morrison’s Three Minutes for Mom is designed for this exact purpose—to help you create tiny moments of self-connection that ripple into how you parent.

7. You’re Trying to Follow Everyone Else’s Parenting Rules

Why it's a sign you're NOT failing:
The fact that you're reading, listening, and seeking help shows you care. But in trying to “get it right,” you may be gathering so many strategies and opinions that you lose touch with your own instincts and values.

What you may be missing:
Not every tip, tool, or script will work for you—and they don’t need to. Your teen is unique. So are you. Parenting isn’t about memorizing the right method—it’s about showing up with authenticity, intention, and love.

What to do:
Ask yourself: “What do I want my teen to remember about how I made them feel?” Start parenting from that place. Let that be your compass when outside voices feel loud or confusing

Final Thoughts

You’re not failing. But you may be focused on the wrong scoreboard.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need a new parenting personality. You just need to see yourself through a clearer lens—one that recognizes effort, celebrates connection, and allows room for grace.

These seven signs are reminders that you're trying. You're growing. You're already showing up in meaningful ways.

And when you parent from a place of self-awareness, compassion, and presence—that’s not just “good enough.” That’s exactly what your teen needs.

Listen Now for More Tips

Want even more insight from Erin Morrison on parenting with confidence and calm?

Tune in to Episode 255 of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam.

👉 Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeart | Audible | YouTube