Pro Parenting Tip: Mind the Gap

Being a parent is a constant dance between setting expectations and guiding your teen to become the best version of themselves. But sometimes, that dance turns into a frustrating struggle.

You envision a future filled with academic achievements, while your teen seems more passionate about music and dreams of a career on stage. This creates a wide gap between your expectations and their reality.

This gap isn't about laziness or defiance. It's about the natural clash between your hopes and your teen's unique personality, interests, and pace of development. Here's how to bridge that divide and create a more harmonious relationship:

From Frustration to Understanding

Forget the power struggles and ultimatums. Closing the gap isn't about forcing your teen into a mold. It's about recognizing their individuality and finding common ground.

Step 1: Re-evaluate Your Expectations

Before you build a bridge, take a step back. Are your expectations based on your teen's unique qualities, or a blueprint you've created for them?

• Are Your Expectations Realistic? Are your expectations age-appropriate and aligned with your teen's natural talents and interests?
• Are You Seeing the Full Picture? Does your teen have hidden strengths or challenges you haven't considered?

Step 2: Embrace Their Uniqueness

Your teen has their own dreams, passions, and ways of learning. By understanding and appreciating their individuality, you build trust and open communication.

Step 3: Bridge the Gap Together

Now that you see your teen for who they truly are, it's time to find common ground:

• Adjust Expectations: Can you modify your expectations to meet your teen halfway while still setting healthy boundaries? For example, can you encourage their writing while emphasizing the importance of well-rounded academics?
• Work as a Team: Help your teen develop the skills they need to reach their own goals, even if they differ slightly from yours. Can you support their artistic pursuits while encouraging them to explore career options within that field?

Bottom Line

By bridging the divide, you're not just closing a gap; you're building a foundation of respect and understanding. This fosters a more positive and supportive relationship where your teen feels empowered to be their authentic self.