How to Get Calm in 2 Minutes or Less

Emotionally intelligent parents are proactive about managing their feelings. They regulate their emotions before responding, ensuring their reactions are intentional and caring.

But how can you harness this emotional intelligence in the heat of the moment?

Here’s a simple 3-step technique from Yale psychologist Emma Seppälä that can instantly boost your emotional quotient (EQ), even when things get tough.

Step 1: Scan Your Body 🧘‍♀️

Begin by tuning in to your physical state. Ask yourself:

• How does my body feel? Are you hungry? Tired? Do you notice any areas of tension?

If you feel tension, take a deep breath and consciously relax those areas. If you're hungry or tired, acknowledge these feelings and remind yourself to address them soon. Taking care of your physical needs can help create a calmer emotional state.

Step 2: Scan Your Brain's “Traffic Level” 🚦

Next, assess your mental clarity. Imagine your thoughts as cars on a road:

• What does the traffic look like? Is it a busy highway, a quiet country road, or somewhere in between?

If your mind feels like a busy highway, take a few deep breaths to clear some mental space. This brief pause can help you regain focus and prepare for a more intentional response.

Step 3: Scan Your Emotions 💭

Finally, take a moment to check in with your emotions:

• How pleasant or unpleasant is my current emotional state?
• How intense is that feeling?

Name the emotion you’re experiencing—acknowledging it can help reduce its intensity. For instance, if you’re feeling frustrated, simply labeling that feeling can provide clarity and reduce its hold on you.

Putting It All Together

After completing these scans, take a deep breath and use this newfound awareness to choose a calm, thoughtful response. Instead of reacting impulsively, you can approach the situation with intention and care.

✨ Secret to Success

Practice this technique when you're already calm to hardwire it into your brain. This way, when you're upset or stressed, you can access it easily and respond thoughtfully.

The Bottom Line

By taking just a couple of minutes to scan your body, mind, and emotions, you can significantly enhance your emotional intelligence. This simple yet powerful technique not only helps you regulate your feelings but also fosters a more positive and supportive environment for you and your family.