Pro Parenting Tip: The Magic Question
When dealing with angry, irrational customers, service reps are taught to ask one powerful question that has the magical ability to both calm the person down AND get them on their side.
It works just as well with angry, irrational teenagers.
Here it is: What would you do if you were me?
Here's why this question is so effective.
- It implies that you want to help
- It evokes empathy by having them put themselves in your shoes.
- It encourages them to come up with a reasonable solution.
- It empowers them by giving them a voice.
So, the next time your teen erupts when you take their phone away for missed chores, or fume because you won't hand over the car keys after a broken curfew, instead of getting locked in a power struggle, ask the magic question: What would you do if you were me?
(Be ready for initial skepticism. They might sense a trap. That's okay! Stay calm and reiterate your genuine interest in their perspective.)
The Magic of Listening
Here's the key: truly listen to their answer. Don't interrupt or judge. Consider their solution, even if it differs from yours. By listening openly, you show respect and a willingness to collaborate. This fosters a sense of teamwork, replacing conflict with connection.
Bottom Line
This isn't about giving in, it's about working together. You might be surprised by their thoughtful ideas!
