Pro Parenting Tip: The Othello Effect

Being a parent is tough. You guide your teen, nudge them towards good choices, and cheer them on. But sometimes it feels like they're pushing back at every turn. Here's the surprising truth: you might be unintentionally making things harder.

Focus on the Good Behavior, Get More Good Behavior

We naturally gravitate towards correcting mistakes. But constant criticism can be discouraging. The key? Focus on what your teen does well. Positive reinforcement is like magic!

Imagine a Game of Othello

Think of Othello, the game where you flip your opponent's pieces to your color. Your teen's behavior is the board. "White" pieces are positive actions, "black" are the ones you want to change. The more you point out "black" pieces (mistakes), the more there are. The more you celebrate "white" pieces (good choices), the faster the board flips to positive!

Flipping the Board in Real Life

• Acknowledge Effort: Did they struggle through a tough assignment? Highlight their perseverance! This motivates them to keep going.
• Appreciate Contributions: Did they help unload the dishwasher? Thank them! It shows you value their efforts, big or small.
• Celebrate Good Choices: Made a responsible decision? Point it out! This reinforces their problem-solving skills.

As the board flips to "white," you build their confidence, strengthen your bond, and create a more positive environment for everyone.

Looking for the White Pieces

Some parents say, "But my teen never does anything right!" Look closer! There are positive actions, even if they're buried under negativity.

It's Never Too Late to Start

Feeling overwhelmed by a board full of "black" pieces? Don't worry! This game has no time limit. Start small, celebrate the good, and watch the positive changes snowball.

Bottom Line

Positive reinforcement is your most powerful move. Use it strategically and watch your teen's behavior start to flip for the better.