7 Essential Strategies for Supporting Your LGBTQ+ Teen

Parenting a teen is never simple, but when your child is exploring or living as an LGBTQ+ individual, the journey can bring unique challenges. In this episode of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam, I had the privilege of speaking with Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and host of the Just Breathe podcast. Heather shared powerful strategies for creating a supportive environment for LGBTQ+ teens and navigating this important phase with love and understanding. If you're looking for ways to support your LGBTQ+ teen more effectively, here are 7 essential strategies to get started.

1. Prioritize Unconditional Love and Acceptance

The most important thing you can offer your LGBTQ+ teen is unconditional love. Creating a home where your teen feels completely accepted for who they are is key to building their confidence and sense of self. Heather emphasizes that your teen needs to feel like they belong, no matter what. Be clear about your love and support every day.

2. Listen and Avoid Questioning Their Identity

When your teen comes out, it’s crucial to listen with an open heart and avoid questions that could unintentionally undermine their feelings. Instead of asking, “Are you sure?” or “How do you know?” Heather suggests asking open-ended questions that show your support, like “How can I help?” or “What do you need from me right now?” Trust that your teen has likely spent a lot of time thinking through their identity.

3. Create a Safe and Supportive Space at Home

Your home should be a safe haven for your LGBTQ+ teen. Heather advises parents to create a space where their child feels comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment. This means openly accepting their gender identity, pronouns, and sexual orientation. It also means processing your own emotions with trusted friends or professionals, so you’re not putting emotional pressure on your teen.

4. Embrace Mistakes and Learn Together

Parenting is a journey of trial and error, and it’s okay to make mistakes—especially when it comes to adjusting to new pronouns or names. Heather encourages parents to acknowledge their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward without dwelling on them. By modeling this attitude, you show your teen that growth is a part of the process.

5. Recognize Social Media as a Tool for Connection

Rather than seeing social media as a negative influence, Heather suggests embracing it as a valuable tool for connection. LGBTQ+ teens often find community and support online, and this can be an important source of validation. Instead of fearing social media, encourage your teen to use it to connect with others who share their experiences and challenges.

6. Focus on the Whole Person, Not Just Their LGBTQ+ Identity

While their sexual orientation or gender identity is important, your teen is more than just that part of who they are. Heather reminds parents to focus on their child’s whole identity, celebrating all the unique qualities that make them who they are. This helps your teen feel seen and valued for more than just one aspect of their life.

7. Be Ready to Adapt and Support Their Exploration

Gender and sexual identities can be fluid, and teens may go through different stages of exploration as they discover who they are. Heather stresses the importance of supporting this exploration without fear or resistance. Be open to your teen’s evolving sense of self and be there to guide them as they navigate their journey.

Final Thoughts: Be Their Support System

Supporting your LGBTQ+ teen is about being present, offering guidance, and embracing their authenticity. By following these strategies, you’ll help your teen build the confidence they need to navigate their world with pride. As Heather shared, the key is to foster an environment of unconditional love, respect, and learning together.

To hear more from Heather, visit her website Chrysalis Mama or listen to her podcast Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, available on all podcast platforms.

💬 Want more strategies like these? Listen to the full episode for practical tools you can start using today. 🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts  | Spotify | iHeart | Audible

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Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• PFLAG: pflag.org
• Trevor Project: thetrevorproject.org
• GLAAD: glaad.org