Pro Parenting Tip: Add the Word "Yet"
According to Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success , a person with a fixed mindset believes their basic abilities, intelligence, and talents are traits you’re born with. You’re either born smart or not, talented or not, pretty or not, popular or not.
People with fixed mindsets see challenges as threatening. They avoid anything that could potentially make them look dumb or unskilled.
To fail means you ARE a failure.
People with a fixed mindset feel powerless.
They experience higher stress, poorer physical health, lower grades and are more likely to react to adverse social situations with negative self-feelings and self-blame.
ON THE OTHER HAND...
People with a growth mindset, understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching, and persistence. Sure, people may be born with natural skills and talents, but they believe everyone can get better if they work at it.
People with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities. They are drawn to anything that could potentially help them learn or develop their skill.
To fail means you have an OPPORTUNITY to grow.
People with a growth mindset feel empowered.
One simple way to encourage a growth mindset is adding the word “YET.”
When your teen worries that they aren’t good enough to try out for the football team — add the word yet. Then encourage him to explore what skills he would need to be good enough and how he could develop them.
When your teen says she’s not smart enough to get into the school she wants — add the word yet. Help her find out what the school requirements are and determine what she needs to work on to meet those requirements.
YET offers hope. Just because you aren’t there right now, it doesn’t mean you can’t get there eventually.
THE BOTTOM LINE
To flip a limited fixed growth statement into a growth mindset, add the word YET.
