Pro Parenting Tip: Say No to "Because I Said So"

Have you ever used the infamous, "because I said so," with your teen?

It may have worked when they were little, but I can almost guarantee it's going to bite you in the backside if you try to use it now.

I know, I know, you're the parent and you shouldn't have to explain yourself.

But when you don't explain yourself, here's what you may be teaching your teen:

1) To obey without questioning.

Do you really want to raise someone that just does what anyone asks without learning more? If not, this is the prime time in their life to teach them how to be more discerning, ask questions, think for themselves...all the skills that make people leaders rather than followers.

2) Their feelings and opinions don't matter to you.

When you tell them just to do without giving them a chance to express how they feel about it or why they find it challenging, we're sending the message that they are not worth our time...i.e., not important. This will quickly manifest into them resenting you and doubting their own self-worth.

3) They're not capable of understanding the reason.

First of all, teens can understand a lot more than we often give them credit for. However, if they aren't yet able to process, the only way they're going to develop the knowledge and experience to understand is to start practicing.

When we explain our decisions to our teens, we teach them how to make good decisions on their own. Isn't that what we really want them to be able to do.

THE BOTTOM LINE

If you can't come up with a better reason than "because I said so," it's time to rethink the intention behind your demand.