Co-Parenting Through the Teen Years: Strategies for Unity and Connection
Co-parenting teenagers comes with unique challenges—but it doesn’t have to be a constant battle. Whether you’re parenting within a marriage, after divorce, or in a blended family, finding common ground with your co-parent is crucial to creating a stable and supportive environment for your teen.
On Episode 233 of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast, we spoke with Kyle and Sara Wester, licensed professional counselors, parenting coaches, and hosts of the Art of Raising Humans podcast. As parents of three preteens and teens, they shared real-world strategies to help co-parents align their parenting approaches, improve communication, and foster deeper connections with their teens.
The Reality of Co-Parenting Teens
Parenting styles naturally differ—each parent brings their own upbringing, beliefs, and values to the table. But when these differences turn into conflicts, teens pick up on them fast. They may even learn how to play one parent against the other, not out of manipulation, but as a way of navigating an inconsistent system.
One of the biggest challenges? A lack of clearly defined parenting goals. Without a shared vision for raising your teen, disagreements can become about personal preferences rather than what’s best for your child.
8 Strategies for Co-Parenting With Unity
1. Approach with Openness, Not a Closed Fist
Come to discussions with a willingness to hear the other parent’s perspective. Stay curious rather than defensive.
2. Define Your Parenting Goals Together
Sit down and discuss: What kind of adult do we want our teen to become? Aligning on big-picture values creates a foundation for daily parenting decisions.
3. Ask “Why?” Before You Argue
Before dismissing your co-parent’s approach, ask: “Why do you feel this is best?” Understanding their reasoning can reveal common ground.
4. Model Respectful Communication
Your teen is watching how you and your co-parent interact. Disagree respectfully and show them how to handle conflicts maturely.
5. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t force your co-parent to change, but you can choose how you respond. Stay consistent in your own parenting approach.
6. Present a United Front on Key Issues
You won’t agree on everything, but strive to align on major rules and expectations to provide consistency for your teen.
7. Avoid the “Balancing Act” Trap
Don’t try to compensate for a stricter or more lenient co-parent by going to the extreme opposite—it confuses your teen and creates more division.
8. Seek Professional Support If Needed
If co-parenting tensions are high, a neutral third party (therapist, coach, or mediator) can help you find common ground.
Reclaiming Your Parenting Power
No matter how your co-parent chooses to parent, you have control over how you show up for your teen. Kyle and Sara emphasize focusing on your own parenting strengths rather than feeling frustrated by what your co-parent isn’t doing. When you stay grounded in your values, your teen benefits.
Want more expert advice? Listen to Episode 233 for a deeper dive into these strategies and real-life co-parenting examples.
🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeart | Audible
Loved this episode? Leave a review and share it with other parents navigating co-parenting challenges!
Connect with Kyle & Sara Wester
Website: artofraisinghumans.com
Podcast: Search Art of Raising Humans on your favorite platform
By applying these co-parenting principles, you’ll create a more unified, supportive environment for your teen—helping them thrive during these critical years.
