Magical Moves to Soothe Teen Depression, Sadness, and Grief

Feelings of sadness and depression can often leave teens feeling hopeless, disconnected, and overwhelmed. These emotions may stem from various sources, including academic pressures, social challenges, or personal struggles. Recognizing the signs of sadness—such as withdrawal, lack of motivation, or irritability—is crucial in supporting your teen through these tough times.

The techniques outlined below are designed to help your teen manage sadness, depression, and grief by fostering self-care, emotional expression, and a deeper connection to their feelings. By encouraging them to engage in these practices, you can help them cultivate resilience and a sense of hope.

GROUNDING EXERCISES

1. Thymus Thump: Stimulates the thymus gland, boosting energy and promoting feelings of safety. How to do it:

   • Get Comfortable: Sit or stand in a relaxed position. Ensure your shoulders are relaxed, and take a deep breath.

   • Cross Your Arms: Cross your arms over your chest, so that your fingertips rest below your collarbones. Your arms should resemble butterfly wings with your hands positioned on either side of your chest.

   • Start Tapping Alternately:

     • Begin tapping your left hand on your chest gently, then your right hand, in an alternating rhythm, like the fluttering wings of a butterfly.
     • Keep tapping slowly and gently, alternating left and right taps.

   • Focus on Your Breath: Breathe slowly and deeply as you tap. Inhale through your nose, hold for a moment, and then exhale gently through your mouth.

   • Observe Your Feelings: As you continue tapping, notice any sensations, emotions, or thoughts that arise. Let them come and go without judgment, and allow yourself to feel more centered with each breath and tap.

   • Continue for 1–2 Minutes: Keep tapping for about 1–2 minutes, or until you feel a sense of calm. You can extend this if it’s helping.

   • Finish Gently: When you’re ready, stop tapping and place your hands on your lap or at your sides. Take a few final deep breaths and notice the sense of calm and grounding.

    

2. Butterfly Hug: This soothing movement reinforces self-compassion and helps your teen feel more secure. How to do it. 

   • Find a Comfortable Position: Sit in a chair or stand with your feet grounded and your body relaxed. You can also do this exercise while lying down, as long as you're in a calm and comfortable position.
   • Cross Your Arms Over Your Chest: Bring your arms up and cross them over your chest, with your palms resting on the opposite shoulders. Your elbows should be pointing out to the sides, forming a "butterfly wing" shape with your arms.
   • Inhale and Open Your Arms Wide: Slowly inhale through your nose, and as you do, gently open your arms wide, stretching them outward as if you're opening your "wings." Allow your chest to expand as you breathe in.
   • Exhale and Bring Your Arms Back Together: As you exhale, bring your arms back in toward your chest, wrapping them around yourself as if you’re giving yourself a gentle hug. Allow your arms to rest lightly on your chest, with your hands resting on your upper arms or shoulders.
   • Repeat the Motion: Continue this movement for 1–2 minutes, focusing on your breath and the soothing motion. Breathe deeply and slowly, ensuring your movements are soft and calming. Each time you open your arms, inhale deeply; each time you close them, exhale slowly and feel the comforting sensation of the "hug."
   • Focus on the Present Moment: As you continue the Butterfly Hug, try to stay focused on your breathing, the comforting sensation of the hug, and the present moment. Allow any stress, tension, or negative feelings to gradually soften with each cycle.

3. Sternum Massage: This activates the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone," which promotes feelings of connection and safety. This self-soothing technique helps reduce stress and anxiety by calming the nervous system and encouraging a feeling of emotional warmth and comfort. How to do it:

   • Find a Comfortable Position: Sit or stand in a relaxed position. You can also do this while lying down if it feels more comfortable. Make sure your body is calm and that you have room to gently move your hands.
   • Place Your Hands on Your Sternum: Using your fingers, place your hands gently on the sides of your sternum (the breastbone) near the center of your chest. Your fingers should be positioned just below the collarbones, on the sides of your chest.
   • Begin Gentle Circles: Start making small, gentle circular motions with your fingers. The circles should be slow and soothing, and you can choose the direction that feels most comfortable to you (clockwise or counterclockwise).
   • Focus on the Sides of Your Sternum: As you continue to rub, focus on the sides of your sternum, but you can also slightly move your hands along the chest area if it feels comfortable. The goal is to gently massage the area around your heart space.

   • Inhale Deeply and Relax: As you continue the gentle circular motion, take deep, slow breaths. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Try to sync your breathing with the rhythm of the massage, which can deepen the relaxation.

   • Continue for 1-2 Minutes: Keep the movements soft and calming for 1-2 minutes, allowing the soothing touch and deep breathing to relax both your body and mind. Feel free to switch the direction of your circles as needed.

   • Finish with Gentle Hand Placement: Once you’ve finished the heart space massage, place your hands back in your lap or by your sides. Take a few moments to notice how your body feels, especially in the chest area. Notice any sense of comfort or calmness that may have emerged.

4. Child’s Pose (Balasana): This gently stretches the back, hips, and legs, encouraging relaxation and calmness. It helps release tension in the body and provides a sense of grounding and safety. How to do it:

    

   
   
   • Start on All Fours: Begin in a tabletop position, with your hands directly under your shoulders and knees under your hips. Keep your back straight and your gaze down.
   • Lower Your Hips Back: Slowly shift your hips back toward your heels, aiming to bring them down to rest on or near your heels. It’s okay if your hips don’t reach all the way to your heels—just move as far as feels comfortable.
   • Stretch Your Arms Forward: Extend your arms straight out in front of you on the mat, with your palms facing down. Reach through your fingers to deepen the stretch.
   • Relax Your Head and Neck: Let your forehead rest gently on the floor, or you can place a prop (like a cushion or block) under your forehead for extra support.
   • Breathe Deeply and Hold: Take slow, deep breaths in and out. On each inhale, imagine your spine lengthening, and on each exhale, imagine releasing tension from your body. Stay in this position for 1-2 minutes or as long as it feels comfortable.
5. Cat-Cow Stretch (Marjaryasana-Bitilasana):  A gentle way to mobilize the spine, release tension in the back and neck, and promote mindfulness and breath awareness. It helps to balance the body and calm the nervous system. How to do it: 
   • Start on All Fours: Begin in a tabletop position with your wrists directly under your shoulders and your knees under your hips. Keep your spine neutral and your head aligned with your back.
   • Move into Cow Pose (Bitilasana): On your inhale, drop your belly toward the floor, lifting your chest and tailbone toward the sky. Open your chest and let your gaze lift slightly. This is the “cow” pose, which gently stretches the front of the body.
   • Move into Cat Pose (Marjaryasana): On your exhale, round your back, tucking your chin toward your chest and drawing your belly button toward your spine. Press into your hands and knees as you lengthen the back and neck. This is the “cat” pose, which helps stretch the back of the body.
   • Flow Between Cat and Cow: Continue to flow between these two poses, moving with your breath. Inhale as you drop your belly and lift your chest (Cow Pose), and exhale as you round your back (Cat Pose). Perform 5-10 rounds of this flow.
   • Finish with Neutral Spine: After completing the Cat-Cow flow, return to a neutral spine position. Take a few moments to sit back on your heels or return to Child’s Pose for a few breaths to relax and reset.

6. 4-7-8 Breathing: Activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the body’s relaxation response). By regulating your breath in this specific pattern, you lower your heart rate, relax your muscles, and signal to your brain that it’s time to rest and recover. How to do it:

   • Get Comfortable: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can sit or lie down without distractions. Sit with your back straight and your hands resting on your lap or thighs. You can also lie down if you prefer.
   • Position Your Tongue: Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, just behind your upper front teeth. Keep your tongue in this position throughout the exercise.
   • Inhale for 4 Seconds: Close your mouth and breathe in quietly and deeply through your nose for a count of 4 seconds. Focus on filling your lungs completely with air. Imagine the air traveling deep into your belly, not just your chest.
   • Hold Your Breath for 7 Seconds: After inhaling, hold your breath for a count of 7 seconds. Try to remain relaxed while holding your breath, not straining.
   • Exhale for 8 Seconds: Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 8 seconds, making a soft “whooshing” sound as you breathe out. Exhale completely, releasing all the air from your lungs.
   • Repeat the Cycle: This completes one cycle of the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Repeat the process for 3-4 more cycles, or as many as you feel comfortable with, focusing on your breath and maintaining a relaxed, calm demeanor.
7. Heartbeat Rhythm Tapping: Ground yourself in a rhythm that feels secure and soothing, which can reduce feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and emotional overwhelm. How to do it:
   • Find the Heartbeat: Place your hand over your heart, gently feeling the steady rhythm of their heartbeat. This helps you connect to your body and the rhythmic pattern.
   • Start Tapping: Gently tap on your chest in sync with your heartbeat. The tapping should be soft, steady, and rhythmic, mirroring the pace of their heart. You can tap with your fingers or the palm of your hand. The rhythm should be slow and comforting, as if you're gently "tapping" out the beat of your own heart.
   • Maintain the Rhythm: Continue tapping for 1–2 minutes, focusing on the soothing sound of the taps and the natural rhythm of your heartbeat. The repetition of this gentle rhythm can help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety.
   • Pause and Breathe: After tapping for a while, stop and take several deep breaths to check in with how you feel. Notice any shifts in your emotions or physical sensations.

8. Acupuncture Point Pericardium 6 (Nei Guan): Known to help with emotional disturbances, anxiety, and feelings of sadness. It can bring balance and calmness to the heart and mind.

• Locate the point: On the inner forearm, about two finger widths above the wrist crease, between the two tendons.
• Use your thumb: Place your thumb on the spot, and gently apply pressure.
• Hold: Keep steady pressure for 1-2 minutes while breathing deeply.
• Repeat: You can use this pressure point on both arms for better balance.

AUDITORY AIDS

1. “Ssssss” Sound: Making a long "Ssssss" sound while exhaling helps release tension from the lungs and heart. This simple sound mimics a soothing breath, which can calm the nervous system and promote emotional processing. It’s an excellent technique for grounding and reducing stress or anxiety. How to do it:

   • Inhale Deeply: Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4 seconds. Use a slow, controlled inhale that fills the lungs and expands the belly.
   • Exhale with a Long "Ssssss" Sound: As you exhale, make a long “Ssssss” sound, as though you are releasing steam from a kettle. The exhale should be slow and controlled, lasting 6-8 seconds or as long as feels comfortable. Focus on the sound and the release of air from your body.
   • Repeat the Process: After exhaling, pause briefly before taking another deep breath in. Repeat the inhaling and exhaling process for 4-5 cycles. You can gradually increase the number of repetitions as you feel more comfortable with the exercise.

2. Soft Humming: Eases feelings of loneliness and anxiety by grounding the person in a rhythm that feels secure and familiar. The vibrations from humming can also promote emotional regulation and relaxation. How to do it:

   • Start the Hum: Begin humming softly, making a smooth, continuous sound like “Mmmm” or “Hmmm.” The pitch should be gentle and comfortable, not forcing any strain on their vocal cords. Hum steadily for a few seconds, focusing on the vibrations created by the sound in their chest and head.
   • Plug Your Ears: For greater impact, gently plug your ears with your fingers as you hum. This enhances the vibration sensation and helps you tune in more deeply to the calming effect.
   • Continue Humming: Hum for 1–2 minutes, maintaining a steady, soft rhythm. The humming can help you feel more grounded and calm. You can adjust the pitch and duration of the hum to your preference, but the key is to keep it steady and soothing.
3. Nature Sounds or Soft Instrumentals: Relaxes your mind and shifts your focus away from negative thoughts and emotions. The soothing tones can calm your nervous system and elevate your mood, making it easier to let go of tension and stress.   Incorporating calming sounds into your daily routine, like when you wake up or before bed, can help promote long-term relaxation. How to do it:
   • Find a Quiet, Comfortable Space: Choose a space where you can sit or lie down comfortably without distractions. It could be your bedroom, living room, or any spot where you feel relaxed.
   • Choose Your Music or Sounds: Select a calming playlist of soft instrumental music, nature sounds (like rain, ocean waves, or birds chirping), or any soothing background sounds that you find peaceful. You can use apps like Spotify, YouTube, or other streaming platforms to find these sounds. TIP:  If you find particular sounds or music calming, create a playlist for easy access when you need it.
   • Set the Volume: Adjust the volume to a comfortable level. It should be soft enough to be calming but loud enough to cover any background noise. The goal is for the sound to gently fill the space, not overpower it. TIP: If you're in a noisy environment, using headphones or earbuds can help you better focus on the soothing sounds.
   • Sit or Lie Down Comfortably: Find a comfortable position to settle into. You can sit with your legs crossed, lie down, or even curl up in a cozy blanket. The key is to be relaxed and at ease.
   • Close Your Eyes and Breathe: Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Focus on your breathing, allowing each inhale and exhale to slow your thoughts and relax your body.
   • Focus on the Sounds: Direct your attention to the nature sounds or soft music. Let the gentle rhythm or melody wash over you. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the soothing sounds.
   • Let Yourself Drift: Allow yourself to be fully immersed in the calming sounds. You can let your thoughts fade away as you relax into the music or nature sounds. If you feel tension in your body, allow the music to help release it.
   • Stay as Long as You Need: Continue listening for as long as you feel comfortable. Even just 5-10 minutes can help shift your mood and clear your mind. If you feel more relaxed, you can extend the time or listen to it again whenever needed.

TACTILE SOOTHERS

1. Warm Shower or Bath: Encourage them to take a warm shower or bath.
   Why it works: Warm water creates a sense of physical comfort, soothing emotional tension.

2. Soft Blanket or Cozy Socks: Wrap them in a warm, soft blanket or encourage them to wear cozy socks.
   Why it works: The warmth and softness help ease feelings of sadness and provide comfort.

3. Foot Massage: Gently massage your teen’s feet with lotion.
   Why it works: Physical touch like a foot massage can help relieve tension and provide soothing comfort, especially during times of emotional distress.

4. Tactile Sensory Play: Engage in activities like squeezing a stress ball or playing with soft clay.
   Why it works: This tactile interaction can help focus the mind, reduce stress, and provide emotional relief.

SOOTHING SCENTS

1. Essential Oils: Use uplifting scents like jasmine or rose.
   Why it works: These floral aromas stimulate feelings of love and hope, helping to lift low moods.

2. Lavender: Use a lavender-scented candle or diffuser.
   Why it works: Lavender has been shown to reduce anxiety, calm the nervous system, and promote relaxation.

3. Citrus Scents: Encourage the use of citrus oils like lemon or orange.
   Why it works: Citrus scents are energizing and mood-boosting, helping to uplift spirits and reduce feelings of sadness.

MOOD-BOOSTING NUTRIENTS

1. Omega-3 Rich Foods: Encourage meals with salmon, walnuts, and flaxseeds.
   Why it works: Omega-3s have been shown to positively impact mood, especially in cases of depression.

2. Protein-Rich Foods: Incorporate chicken, legumes, nuts, and seeds into your meals.
   Why it works: Protein helps stabilize blood sugar levels, which can mitigate mood swings and support emotional regulation.

3. Magnesium-Rich Foods: Suggest dark leafy greens, pumpkin seeds, and dark chocolate.
   Why it works: Magnesium plays a crucial role in mood regulation and reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety.

4. B Vitamins: Foods like eggs, dairy, and leafy greens are rich in B vitamins.
   Why it works: B vitamins, particularly B6 and B12, are essential for brain health and can help combat feelings of anxiety and depression.
5. Probiotics: Encourage yogurt, kefir, or fermented foods like sauerkraut.
   Why it works: Gut health is closely linked to mental health, and probiotics can improve gut flora, positively influencing mood and emotional regulation.

EMPOWERING AFFIRMATIONS

Why they work: These affirmations can help your teen acknowledge their emotions, build resilience, and offer hope and encouragement during tough times.

1. “This feeling is difficult, but I am capable of moving through it.”
2. “It’s okay to feel sad.”
3. “I am worthy of love and care, even when I feel down.”
4. “Each day is a new chance to heal and grow.”
5. “I have the strength to get through this.”
   
   

Additional Strategies

1. Take a Short Nap: Encourage your teen to take a brief rest to reset their mood. Why it works: Napping can restore energy levels and enhance emotional resilience.
2. Step Outside: Suggest a quick walk in nature or some fresh air. Why it works: Connecting with nature can elevate mood and restore a sense of meaning.
3. Social Connection: Encourage your teen to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about how they’re feeling. Why it works: Social connections can reduce feelings of isolation and provide emotional validation, offering comfort and support.

4. Creative Expression: Suggest engaging in drawing, writing, or playing music. Why it works: Creative outlets can help teens express complex emotions like sadness and grief without needing to articulate them directly. It can be a powerful way to process feelings and release emotional tension. BONUS: Take it outside and ask a friend to join you!!