Magical Moves to Calm the FIGHT Response (Anger, Frustration, Irritation)

Teenagers are no strangers to the fight response, especially when it comes to dealing with stress, conflict, or overwhelming emotions. The fight response is a natural reaction to perceived threats, and for teens, it can look like anger, frustration, or irritation. These emotional reactions often surface when they feel disrespected, misunderstood, or trapped in a situation they can't control. When triggered, their body and mind prepare to either confront the issue head-on or to protect themselves from further harm.

In teens, the fight response can manifest in several ways, from explosive outbursts of anger to passive-aggressive behavior or simply shutting down in frustration. These emotional states are linked to high tension and a buildup of energy, which, if not released, can escalate quickly. Luckily, there are plenty of simple techniques that can help teens manage this energy and respond in a more constructive way.

Here are some tricks that work magic for calming the fight response, helping your teen navigate feelings of anger, frustration, and irritation with greater ease.

GROUNDING EXERCISES

1. Wall Push: This exercise helps release the pent-up energy often associated with the fight response by engaging the muscles and creating a physical release. It offers a safe way to channel anger or frustration. How to do it:

   • Stand facing a sturdy wall with your feet shoulder-width apart and a little distance from the wall, allowing room for movement.

   • Place your palms flat against the wall, shoulder-width apart, at chest height.

   • Tighten your core muscles (abs and back) to create stability. Keep your body straight, ensuring your shoulders, hips, and ankles are aligned.

   • Push against the wall with steady, firm pressure. Focus on using your arms, chest, and core muscles. Try to feel the strength in your muscles as you apply pressure, but avoid straining.

   • Inhale deeply as you push against the wall, and exhale slowly to release tension. Focus on your breath and the feeling of strength in your muscles.

   • Hold the push for 5–10 seconds, then slowly release the pressure. Take a deep breath and relax your body, paying attention to the release of tension.

   • Repeat this process 3–5 times. You can gradually increase the intensity of the push as you feel more comfortable.

2. Jaw Release: This exercise helps release tension in the jaw, which is often a common area for holding stress and anger.  How to do it:

   • Sit or stand comfortably with your back straight and your shoulders relaxed. You can also do this lying down if that feels better.

   • Gently place your index and middle fingers at the base of your jaw, just beneath your earlobes. You should feel the muscles along your jawline when you press gently.

   • Press lightly on the base of your jaw and begin to massage in small circular motions. Focus on areas where you feel the most tension or tightness.

   • Slowly move your fingers along the jawline, from the base of your jaw near your ears, down toward your chin. Continue to apply gentle pressure and circular motion as you move along the muscle.

   • As you massage your jaw, take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This helps your body relax and release any built-up tension.

   • Continue massaging for 1–2 minutes, or longer if you feel more tension to release. You can repeat this process 2–3 times, focusing on areas that feel especially tight.

3. Shake it Off: This exercise helps release pent-up energy and stress by encouraging physical movement, which aids in discharging anger and restoring calm. How to do it:

   • Begin by shaking one arm at a time. Hold your arm out straight and shake it vigorously for 5–10 seconds-- hokey pokey style. Then, switch to the other arm and do the same.

   • Now, shake one leg at a time by lifting it slightly off the ground and shaking it gently. After 5–10 seconds, switch to the other leg.

   • Once your arms and legs are shaking, begin to shake your whole body by gently bouncing up and down or shifting your weight from side to side. Let your body move freely and let go of any tension.

   • If it feels good, you can add dancing or jumping in place for 30 seconds to release even more energy. Feel free to let your body move however it wants.

   • After shaking for 30 seconds, take another deep breath in and slowly exhale. Notice how your body feels—lighter, more relaxed, and less tense.

4. Activate the Hegu pressure point. The Hegu point is known to activate the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the mind and body. By applying pressure here, you can reduce feelings of anger, frustration, or irritation, as it encourages relaxation and helps to disperse the tension that often accompanies the fight response. How to do it:
• Place your thumb and index finger of one hand together.
• The Hegu point is the area at the highest point of the muscle between your thumb and index finger, where the bones meet.
• Use the thumb and index finger of your opposite hand to apply pressure firmly on the point for about 20-30 seconds.
• Focus on applying a steady, moderate pressure—not too intense.
• As you press, take slow, deep breaths to help release tension.
5. Two Quick Inhales and One Deep Exhale: This technique is known to help manage stress and can be used for both the fight and flight responses, but it is typically more effective for calming the fight response. How to do it:
   • Take two quick inhales through the nose. The rapid intake of breath signals alertness and energy to the body. It helps energize and activate the nervous system.
   • Release one deep exhale through the mouth: The slow, prolonged exhale works to calm the body by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and helps counteract the heightened arousal from the quick inhales.

AUDITORY AIDS

1. Long “Haaaaa” Exhalation: Exhale with a long “Haaaaa” sound, imagining frustration leaving your body.
   Why it works: Vocalizations like this help release emotional energy stored in the body, reducing internalized anger and bringing relief (Fried, 2015).

2. Ocean Waves or Rainfall Sounds: Rhythmic sounds like rain can help diffuse anger.
   Why it works: These sounds calm the mind and create a soothing background that promotes relaxation.

TACTILE SOOTHERS

1. Cold Water on Face: Splash cold water on your face or take a cold shower.
   Why it works: Cold sensations help reset your nervous system and shift your emotional state.

2. Cold Compress or Ice Pack: Place a cold pack on your neck or forehead.
   Why it works: Cooling your body helps regulate emotional intensity and bring calm.

3. Crunchy Snacks: Eat crunchy foods like carrots or apples to release tension.
   Why it works: Chewing provides a physical outlet for frustration, offering a calming effect.

4. Clay or Stress Ball to Squeeze: Use a stress ball to channel tension.
   Why it works: Physical release helps disperse tension in a constructive way.

CALMING SCENTS

1. Frankincense or Chamomile: These scents can help create a calming environment.
   Why it works: These scents promote relaxation and can help reduce feelings of anger or irritability.

2. Peppermint or Eucalyptus: These have a cooling effect on the body and mind.
   Why it works: These scents are refreshing and can help "cool down" an intense emotional state.

MOOD-BOOSTING NUTRIENTS

1. Potassium-Rich Foods: Bananas, sweet potatoes, and avocados help with mood regulation.
   Why it works: Potassium helps regulate blood pressure, which can calm intense emotions.

EMPOWERING AFFIRMATIONS

1. “I am allowed to feel angry, but I choose to respond with calmness and clarity.”
2. “I am safe in this emotion. Anger will not hurt me.”
3. “I can walk away. I don’t need to respond right now.”
4. “It’s okay to be upset.”

By using these strategies, your teen can learn to redirect the energy from anger and frustration into more peaceful, productive outlets. These techniques help reduce the tension that builds up in their bodies and minds, giving them healthier ways to express themselves. Whether it’s grounding exercises, soothing sounds, or empowering affirmations, these tools are designed to help teens manage the fight response and navigate their emotions in a more balanced way.