Pro Parenting Tip: Hone Your Tone

Teens are navigating a complex world of emotions and identity. A sharp tone, even if unintentional, can feel dismissive, critical, or even controlling. This can shut down communication and lead to frustration on both sides.

On the other hand, a calm and understanding tone fosters a safe space for open conversation. It shows your teen you respect their feelings and are genuinely interested in what they have to say.

How to Hone Your Tone

Here are some tips to be more intentional with your tone when talking to your teenager:

• Take a breath. Before responding in the heat of the moment, take a deep breath to calm yourself down. This allows you to approach the situation with a clear head and a more measured tone.
• Focus on "I" statements. Instead of accusatory statements like "You always leave your room messy!", try "I feel frustrated when the room is messy because it makes it hard to relax." This takes ownership of your emotions and invites a more productive conversation.
• Active listening. Pay attention not just to their words, but also their body language and tone. This shows you're engaged and helps you understand their perspective better.
• Use humor carefully. A lighthearted quip can sometimes ease tension, but avoid sarcasm or jokes that might feel hurtful.
• Respectful disagreement. It's okay to disagree with your teen, but do it respectfully. Acknowledge their viewpoint and explain yours calmly.

Dr. Cam's advice is not a substitute for therapy, nor does it indicate that a therapeutic relationship has been established. If you have an urgent concern about your teen's mental health, you can find the appropriate hotline at ​Mental Health Resources for Teens​.