5 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Get Your Teen to Do Their Homework
Getting your teen to engage with their homework can be a real challenge. Here are five common mistakes parents often make, and what to do instead to promote better habits and cooperation:
1. Nagging or Constant Reminders
Why it doesn’t work: Repeatedly reminding your teen can feel like nagging, leading to resentment and resistance.
What to do instead: Set clear expectations and deadlines at the beginning of the week. Use a shared calendar or planner to help them keep track of assignments, encouraging them to take ownership of their responsibilities.
2. Doing It for Them
Why it doesn’t work: Completing assignments for your teen can prevent them from developing important skills and understanding the material.
What to do instead: Offer support and guidance without taking over. Ask open-ended questions about the homework to help them think critically, and let them struggle a bit to learn resilience.
3. Creating a Negative Environment
Why it doesn’t work: A chaotic or distracting environment can make it difficult for teens to focus on their homework.
What to do instead: Establish a dedicated, quiet study space free from distractions like TV and phones. Encourage a routine that signals it's time to focus, such as a specific time for homework each day.
4. Using Punishment as Motivation
Why it doesn’t work: Threatening consequences can lead to increased anxiety and avoidance rather than motivation. Plus, it doesn't resolve WHY they're not doing their homework.
What to do instead: Instead of punishment, try to uncover why they are
Why it doesn’t work: Threatening consequences can lead to increased anxiety and avoidance rather than motivation. Plus, it doesn’t address the underlying reasons why they're not engaging with their homework.
What to do instead: Shift the focus from punishment to understanding. Engage your teen in a conversation about their interests and aspirations, and connect how their schoolwork plays a role in achieving those goals. Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you find challenging about this subject?” or “How can we make this homework feel more relevant to what you want to do?”
By relating assignments to their personal interests and future ambitions, you can foster a sense of ownership and intrinsic motivation. Additionally, create a system where they can set personal milestones and reflect on their progress, celebrating achievements—big and small—to reinforce their confidence and commitment.
5. Taking Away Extracurriculars and Fun Activities
Why it doesn’t work: Removing activities your teen enjoys can create resentment and negatively impact their mental well-being. Instead of motivating them, it may lead to further resistance and disengagement. In fact, these activities may be EXACTLY what they need to reduce overwhelm, improve focus. and tackle homework.
What to do instead: Encourage your teen to engage in the activities they love when they’re struggling. Whether it’s taking a break to enjoy a hobby, going out for coffee, or taking a walk together, these moments can provide relief and clarity. This approach fosters a sense of balance and helps them recharge, making it easier to return to their schoolwork with a fresh perspective.
The Bottom Line:
Promoting a positive homework experience involves patience and understanding.
