Pro Parenting Tip: Become a Super Model

One-minute things are perfectly fine. Then you bring up school, homework, the laundry, the garbage… anything and your pleasant teenager turns into a rude, grumpy, obnoxious pain in the behind.

All you wanted was to know how their day was or to get a little help around the house. But every time you ask the littlest thing from your teen it turns into a battle.

You try to remain calm and understanding, but their lazy attitude and endless excuses wear you down. It’s as if they WANTS to fight with you.

And you break.

You yell.

You both fall into a tailspin of emotions.

Then you feel terrible. You feel like you’re failing them.

Yet the harder you try to make it better, the worse it gets.

Why does it have to be this way?

It doesn’t.

But it’s going to require some work on your end.

Understand that if your teen is going to change their behavior, you need to teach them a more appropriate behavior to replace it with.

The best way to do this is through modeling.

When we respond to our teen’s big emotions by yelling, arguing, punishing, stonewalling… we often end up modeling the very behavior we’re attempting to stop.

Instead, model the behavior you want them to start.

• Stay calm.
• Stay reasonable.
• Listen.
• Empathize.
• Don’t engage.
• Walk away.

Your teen’s goal is to get your attention, so they’ll probably ramp up their emotions at first.

They may yell louder. Stay quiet.

They may follow you when you walk away. Keep going.

Eventually they’ll wear down. Eventually, they’ll learn that this method no longer works.

It won’t be easy at first, but if you stay consistent, it’s going to make your life (and your teen’s) a lot better in the long run.

THE BOTTOM LINE

The best way to get teens to change their behavior is by modeling the behavior you want them to adopt.